His best friend Willow Rosenberg broke up with Xander over a stolen Barbie when they were 5. At his 6th birthday party, which Willow attended, his parents hired a clown who chased him and gave him a lifelong phobia of clowns. He faced it in Season 1's "Nightmares". When he did not get a toy firetruck for his 7th birthday, the house next door caught fire. He saw real firetrucks then and thinks he had Willow to thank.
Every Christmas, Xander sleeps outside to avoid his family's drunken arguments. Neither parent is happy with their marriage, but they have stayed together for decades. When he was 13, Xander attended Willow's bat mitzvah, where his parents drank to excess. Throughout the series, Xander's family was said to be unreliable, even abusive and the main source of his insecurities. They finally appeared at Xander and Anya's aborted wedding in Season 6's "Hell's Bells".
In 1997, Xander met Buffy Summers on her first day at Sunnydale High. He overheard her bizarre conversation with Rupert Giles in the library and lost his male best friend Jesse to vampires in "The Harvest". Xander took the stand that "vampires are bad" and was forced to stake Jesse the following night. He became a wisecracking sidekick of the Scooby Gang, often annoying those around him, including Angel ("Enemies") and the more uptight Giles. Despite his insecurities, Xander proves to be loyal, courageous, and endowed with a high degree of emotional intelligence. In Season 1's finale ("Prophecy Girl"), he revived a drowned Buffy, allowing her to defeat The Master. In the 2nd Season, Xander's military knowledge enabled Buffy to defeat the Judge, a supposedly invulnerable demon, in "Innocence". In the Season 3 finale ("Graduation Day, Part Two"), he led Sunnydale High's students against Mayor and his vampires. In Season 4's "Primeval", Xander gave Buffy his "heart" in the spell that defeated Adam. In Season 6's conclusion ("Grave"), Xander's love for his childhood friend Willow turned her around and saved the world.
Xander developed a crush on Buffy quickly, but it was not reciprocated. He gradually began a turbulent and ambiguous relationship with Cordelia Chase after they were thrown together in several life-or-death situations, though he had been the treasurer of the We Hate Cordelia club. Being seen with Xander cost Cordelia her position among Sunnydale High's fashionable clique, and she dumped him on Valentine's Day. Xander retaliated by coercing Amy Madison to cast a love spell, which misfired: for a few hours, until the spell was broken, Xander found himself irresistible to every girl, woman and female vampire in sight – except Cordelia, who, realizing how much Xander cared for her reunited with him in defiance of her former friends ("Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered"). Season 3 saw him revive an interest in best friend Willow and a kiss that led to Cordelia's near-fatal injury ("Lovers Walk") and Anyanka's arrival ("The Wish"). He was used by Faith one night ("The Zeppo") and lost his virginity to her. Later he was asked to the Prom by the newly-human Anya.
After graduating from high school, Xander chose not to enroll in college. He set upon a cross-country trip that ended when his car broke down. He spent most of that summer working as a dishwasher in a male strip club to pay for a new car. One night, when a dancer was sick, Xander reluctantly took to the stage. He returned to Sunnydale and moved into his parents' basement, for which he had to pay rent. In the fourth season, he took a series of odd jobs as a food vendor, a bartender, a phone-sex operator and a delivery man. Xander eventually pursued a career in carpentry and construction work. He moved into his own apartment with Anya, where he stayed until the end.
He fell in love with Anya in season four after much persuasion, and proposed to her before the end of Season 5. His doubts about their future together caused him to leave her at the altar a year later. They still loved each other, however, when his left eye was gouged out by Caleb, a preacher for The First Evil in Season 7. His love did not survive the finale because Anya was killed by a Bringer's sword, and her body remained in the new Sunnydale High's remains as the empty town was swallowed by the earth. Andrew, with whom she had fought alongside, comforted Xander by telling him that she "died saving his(Andrew's) life." The last time we heard about Xander (in 2004) he was in Africa, rounding up potential Slayers for Buffy. More recently, he was featured in the post-Sunnydale story "Antique" in the Tales of the Vampires comic line, apparently having spent some time under the thrall of Dracula again, as his manservant. He is summarily rescued by Buffy and two new Scythe-Awakened Slayers. As the stories in this collection are considered canon, it is suspected that this is the most recent sighting to date.
